A Happy Sixteenth Birthday to you Kwame!
Dear Kwame,
Remember how we explained that Kwame is a name given to a boy born on Saturday among the Akan people in Ghana; and that because you were born on a Thursday you should have been named Yaw if we stuck with the tradition, but we decided on Kwame anyway?
Why Kwame?
I’m sure you’re tired of hearing that your dad and I were both born and grew up in Sierra Leone; and that your dad attended high school in Ghana and fell in love with many aspects of the Ghanaian culture. From the moment we met, your dad disclosed that if he was ever blessed with a son, he will name him Kwame. As it so happened, we were blessed with you exactly sixteen years ago – this day, and there was no debate as to what we would name you. Together with you, we’ve researched other great men in our African history with your name; Kwame Nkrumah – former president of Ghana, Kwame Alexander – American Author, Kwame Anthony Appiah – Ghanaian –British philosopher to name a few, to help you understand the greatness of the name and to grasp fully why we decided to name you Kwame. While you have never expressed this to us directly, we know that you love your name and it warms our hearts when in some rare moments you say your full name – Kwame Feijimi Williams.
Your Birth
You made your grand entrance into this beautiful world at exactly 9:25pm ET on November 7th 2002 and you were celebrated by family and friends all over the world. Prior to your entrance, it was drama in the delivery room. Your dad, your god mother – Aunty Dallow and your beloved Aunty Safie were all present. We had no clue you were going to be a boy because we wanted a surprise and anticipated one. Everyone was on high alert and the busyness in the room was palpable. As I recall, the only two calm people were your dad and Dr. Denham. I was also very excited, albeit completely out of sorts. I was loud and boisterous, and saying all sorts of things in English, Krio and whatever other language I could speak, because I was in a lot of discomfort – even though I had been medicated for pain. Everyone in the room was reassuring but your dad was my biggest champion of them all. When you finally decided to show yourself, everything went smoothly and your cry was the best sound I ever heard. I couldn’t see you at first but I just knew you were very cute and I heard the screams “It’s a boy” and I thought “Kwame!”
I can’t express how it felt to hold you in my arms that first time; however, shortly thereafter the obstetrician (OB) decided that you should be evaluated by a neonatologist because the OB calculated that you overstayed your time in your very first home. Well, three neonatologists stopped by to examine you to make sure everything was fine. You started crying because they were disturbing your comfort but they couldn’t stop there; they had to listen to your heart and lungs and one of them had the audacity to open your diaper – it was then that it happened. You sprayed pee all over the three of them – they jumped backwards but a little too late, because your pee was all over their scrubs. It was hilarious – we were all laughing and they called you “the feisty one.” I enjoyed that moment; it was also a clear signal that you were going to be the “no nonsense” type.
We took you home a couple days later doting on you incessantly. You were blessed by constant visits from family and friends bearing gifts and lots of food; it was a wonderful and fun time. Approximately a week later, I became worried that you were not getting enough breast milk because you were doing what’s called “cluster feeding.” I thought it was because you were not feeling full; I later learned from a lactation consultant that it’s a phase of feeding that most babies go through. Against protests from your dad and advice from the lactation consultant, I bought an “organic formula” in the hopes of remedying what I felt was a satiety issue. I anticipated the comfort I would feel to know that you’re full and satisfied as opposed to breast feeding –with very little milk production. I proceeded to mix the formula in nice warm water and sat down to feed you, while looking at the sad and defeated face of your father; well he had the last laugh – so to speak. The moment I placed the bottle nipple in your mouth and you tasted the organic formula – you spat every bit of it. I could not believe what I was experiencing – I tried several times just to be sure that in fact this was really happening; you spat the milk every single time. After a while you stopped opening your mouth for the bottle. I was defeated and your dad was elated, but he did not gloat – I heard him say quietly to himself “that’s my boy!” I accepted defeat and breastfed exclusively until you decided you had had enough at about 8 months old, which was also when you started daycare.
The Growing and the Present
It’s been amazing to watch you grow and to be part and parcel of your transformation. It’s also been exciting to observe the development of your personality and to hear your dad say – “that aspect of him reminds me of myself when I was a kid.” Also, I’m not sure whether it’s just a coincidence but your father tends to claim aspects of you that are celebrated; wit, sense of humor, love of history, erudite, care and compassion; however, your sometimes selfish behaviors and stubbornness remains unclaimed – go figure. That said we love you just the way you are. Some of your challenges will serve you very well as you get older and are able to deliver them in appropriate doses.
I love the way you interact with your brother but sometimes it’s very frustrating to hear the two of you bicker constantly like two “grumpy old men.” Your brother is always quick to defend you and I love when he says “mom, we’re siblings what do you expect? We will always fight but it doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.” I love when you say to me “mom, please tell your son he’s not from the streets. Acting all big and bad – he’s only a kid growing in the suburbs,” or “mom, can you please explain to your son that he really does not know how to dance,” or “mom, why did you have this kid?” I know that you were a bit thrown off by Kisimi’s birth but he’s your brother and we know that you two love each other. Your dad and I love it when we see you helping Kisimi; whether it’s helping him to figure out a math problem, or, correcting his English – we always look at each other and smile.
I was taken aback a couple years ago at Ms. Selette’s driveway when you took charge of my flat tire situation and changed my tire with Kisimi as your assistant. Even Mr. Mark had to ask “who taught him how to change a tire?” I saw a true leader that evening. Another occasion that demonstrated your quick thinking and leadership skills was when I came home distraught over the loss of my iPhone and wallet. Without thinking, you jumped into my car and activated the “find my iPhone” app which led us directly to the person who had both my phone and wallet. That was also a God incident.
Your command of the Krio language has never ceased to amaze me. You love speaking Krio, and every time you do, it shows your understanding of the belly of this language. Some of my favorites include “dis tin kin make a wonder” (this stuff makes me wonder); “go do am yousef” (do it yourself); “you bizness tranga” (you’re very stubborn) and there’re lots more to choose from. Please keep your understanding of Krio; it will serve you well in the future.
Our Hopes and Dreams for You
Kwame, I could go on forever if I’m to describe all the other significant events that brought us to this day. A lot of great and some challenging things have happened over the years – birthdays, graduations, confirmation, awards, trips, health issues etc. That said, it’s been a tremendous ride with God and a cadre of family and friends by our side. We hope and pray that you never forget the people who have been with you on this journey. We also pray that you put God first in all that you do and that God’s will is manifested in every aspect of your life. Always give all praise and glory to God and strive to impact every human being in a positive way and always leave them with their humanity intact. We thank God for you and we love you just the way you are. Always stand tall and remember who and whose you are. Finally, I want you to always remember Ms. Selette’s favorite words to you, Symien, Kisimi and London “step out of your fears and enter into your greatness” (unknown).
We love you Kwame, and God bless you!
Mom, Dad and Kisimi